Ready to go...and it's not just because of the snow

Monday, February 8th, was the day I was originally scheulded to return to Haiti. My dad's birthday has been celebrated and my dear friends Heidi and James have "tied the knot". Now that the reasons for my visit home have come and gone I am quite eager to return to Haiti.
During my time home, I've been able to visit with many friends and family and speak at a variety of schools about the work we were doing in Haiti before the earthquake. This has been a blessing and part of the healing process, but I am ready to go home, and by home I mean Haiti. I miss my friends, my co-workers, my life. But that's the tricky part, my friends and co-workers are scattered and life as I knew it is no more. I have no idea what I'm returning to, yet I am still eager to go.
If I'm completely honest, I'm torn. Part of me is very eager to return to get on the ground and start helping, the other part of me is terrified of what I will see, hear and experience when I return. I know that it will be difficult but I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Right now, the hardest part for me is not having a plan. I'm a planner and not having a specific, detailed plan doesn't work well with my personality. Last night I was reading a devotional by Charles Spurgeon and it really hit home for me. The story is told of David inquring of the Lord when in battle with the Philistines. Sprugeon states that "If you want to be able to steer your ship through the darkest, highest waves, place the control of the rudder into the hands of the Almighty. Many a crushing rock might be escaped if we would only let our Father take the helm, and many a shoal or sandbar might be avoided if we would surrender ourselves to His sovereign will to choose and to command." In Psalms it says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go." (32:8) and in Proverbs, "many are the plans in a man's (woman's) heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (19:21)
These words are very encouraging at this time and I cling to God's promises to lead and direct me in the way I must go.